I have two children already- Day 3

Yes, it is true. I have two babies already. My sweet Bogey and Kahla. I do not think I would be so prepared and ready to love without them. They have been a huge inspiration leading up to my hopeful motherhood. My dogs have taught me about responsibility, loyalty, unconditional love, discipline, schedule, and the list goes on. In all honestly what is the difference between my dog babies and a human baby?? I am totally joking people!! My dogs lower my blood pressure, give me kisses when I am sad, wag their tail when I am happy, and I can see that God created these animals just to be my companion. Bryan and I have raised our dogs TOGETHER. This is the real part of the learning experience. We have learned to love outside of each other, and is this not what parenthood is? Learning to love and raise a being outside of one another? We have had to schedule babysitters when we go out of town, go to the veterinarian when they are sick, spend all kinds of money(well they are a tad spoiled), deal with chewed furniture, poop, and pee. For most, this would be annoying and too much work. For us, this is JOYFUL! What our dogs give us in love replaces what we have to give up for them. I look to this as what being a parent is like. All the things you are "giving up" is replaced by the beautiful being you are raising. My hope for our future children is that they love animals like we do and they have a compassionate heart. Bogey and Kahla are both rescued, and I could not imagine it any other way. I would go as as far as saying as soon as our first kid is old enough to want a dog, we will be running to the shelter and adopting the ugliest mutt they have! I have made a promise to myself that our next dog will be the most "over looked" dog at the shelter. Three dogs and a few kids...why not? The more the merry...right?

My Birthday Wishes for Bryan- Day 2

Okay, well maybe more like my birthday promises. Bryan is turning thirty tomorrow, and I am so excited for him! So I have thought of a few promises for him as we begin this journey together.

Promise # 1- I promise to support him in his career (did I mention that his support and encouragment for me is endless?)
Promise #2- I promise to stay healthy and fit (this is a big one!). You have to feel good about yourself to feel good in your relationship. I truly believe this...eating right and excercise is an exact parallel to happiness and state of mind.
Promise # 3- I will always make time for us to be alone. Bryan is my best friend, and I will work at staying connected even when it seems impossible.

Besides the sappy promises, Bryan got hooked up with a Marc Jacobs leather briefcase. Let's just say it is a man bag because he was so envious of my Louis...

I also made a photobook from photos ranging from baby until now. I LOVE the book and it took so much time to scan every damn photo. I royally screwed up because I did not put one single photo of his mom in there...not one! We can never show her...so sad :(

Why?- Day 1

Why? Why am I writing this blog? Maybe I miss school and writing my thoughts so often, maybe I am bored, maybe I just have to hear myself think out loud. All of these are true, but the number one reason I am writing this blog is to relive and remember this experience into motherhood. I want to love my choice more than anything I have ever done. I want my children to see that happiness exists and that marriage can be forever. I want them to know that two people can create a family and be entirely joyful and fullfilled. We live in a world of too many questions and to many "what ifs". I think its time we stop asking questions and find that love can be real.
You see I have been plagued with the desire of motherhood, but I have also been so afraid of it. I am a self proclaimed feminist. I believe woman should take control of their lives and give everything they have to their education and career. I fight with myself everyday on the complicated and almost unrealistic idea of career and motherhood. The haunting question is do you choose both or one? This is my journey into choosing only one.